the best thing i say is nothing

i no longer use livejournal. this marks a 6 year relationship at its end.

you may now reach me at this address:

http://bestthingisay.wordpress.com/


peaceandlove,
a

so here's a list of a few things i'm thinking about... just thought i'd let you know:

1. war is really bad, but we can still love the soldier and care for him
2. www.slowfoodusa.org
3. fair trade is amazing, and we oughta think about it more often
4. "what is going on with me? why am i thinking about this stuff all of the sudden?"
5. the emergent church (reading a book called "emerging churches")
6. sabbath is made for man, not man for sabbath, but we really need it regardless
7. i heart the cco

please pray for bob robinson, as he had an aortic aneurysm this week, and is in a drug induced coma. his blog is on my list.


peace and love to all
a

Hey there all. So, my name's Adam Anderson. I'm a campus minister in Erie, PA, and friends with some of the folks posting, and I was asked if I wanted to post something on here. And, seriously, who doesn't like to see their words up on a screen for the world to see? Here I am.

Relationships in a Christian context can be one of the most frustrating, if not downright inexplicable things around. We're called as Christians to love with every fiber of our being God and those around us. And yet, when we try to love someone a little more than the rest, we simply get ourselves caught up in hurt, frustration, and inevitably, we start to mistrust ourselves and ability to love in the first place.

And believe me, I'm no different. I had my serious ups and downs when it came to dating. I was blessed with some sweet and wonderful girls to spend time, and really had some rough spots. And from all this experience, I think I finally figured out a solution.

I really don't give two rips about relationships.

Let me repeat myself: I don't care.

At this point I should probably quit posting to a website devoted to determining these things right? Well, please keep reading, and hopefully it'll make sense (girls, please don't have a heart attack).

For many years, I thought of myself as a fairly devoted Christian, and realized a lot of that devotion to God involved being willing to give it fears to him. So, that's what I did. My college life? Gave it to God. My major? Gave it to God. And as I gave these things up, I felt less frustration in them. When I stopped trying to fix them myself, the peace that came out of it was surreal - even if it wasn't what I originally intented (this spoken from the english turned business management turned marketing major turned RD/Campus minister).

But I realized that the one places I wasn't giving God the leadership was my relationships. And for awhile, through major screw-ups in physical and emotional boundaries, it was showing up in a major way. I was unhappy, and had no peace or joy. So I prayed to God, and told Him that I'd just allow Him to lead, and that I'll respect his rules.

So I sat around.
Waited.
Hoped.

...and nothing. For awhile I thought it was penance for the crimes of physical intimacy (which, unfortunately, our churches make many of us feel the more bases you run, the less of a chance you have to getting married, or worse, getting into Heaven. As if anyone deserved it before we made mistakes), or maybe, as we all hear (inevitably from our friends with good relationships) that "it's just not the right time... oh, it's all okay, plenty of fish in the sea!"

All that did was make me mad, and think there was something more to all of this garbage.

Then I remembered my purpose as a Christian again: to love God with all my body, soul, mind, and strength, and to love my neighbor as myself. A few words with a weight that transcends all of the categories I was trying to put God's will into. Sure, I was gaining peace, but it wasn't full, because ultimately it still concerned me. Loving God and people leaves little space for loving myself - and that is a concept we as Americans don't tend to like to hear.

Time's progressed, and I'm trying to put love into action. And as I do, the things I was worried about don't matter anymore: my Master's degree? Love God and people, and don't worry. Doing good ministry at Gannon? Love God and people, and don't worry.

Which brings me back to not caring about relationships. At this point (and, I suppose at any point in my life) I want to choose to love God and people, and not worry about what relationship I'm in. And, inevitably, I think that's where the beauty comes in - when I've decided to just start loving, I stop caring about relationships and how they affect me, but how it affects the guys and girls around me. The relationships developed from giving up my desires and just loving are deeper, and more God-like.

So, in the end, I guess I still care about relationships - I probably care more. But, I care about God's love the most.

I'd love to hear any insights or comments, and will do what I can to reply.

peace and love to all,
a.

so i finished "real sex" by lauren winner

i figured out that was the first book i had finished since "zen and the art of motocycle maintenance"... which was june 16th

yeah. gotta work on that.


peace
a

one more thing today before i call it quits

i'm going to try, because it's something a good portion of my blogging buddies take interest in, to synthesize my ideas about the emerging church and my ideas on it
i'll say first i'm no overly trained theologian, but i'm willing to be lacerated (Fr. Hopko's well stated point) by the Bible and by the movements theology to figure it out

but i have more reading and discussing to do.

if you'd like a decent idea of the movement, go here:
http://www.pbs.org/wnet/religionandethics/week845/cover.html#

my gut feeling, without the benefit of much reading and research, is that it's a necessary movement, one that should wake some of the mainline churches out of their comfort zones, one that is pushing ecumenicalism that is not only necessary, but very openly taught in Scripture (Jesus being with the Samarian woman, Paul clearly saying in Romans and Galations that we're under a new law beyond Jew and Gentile). however, there's a part of me that fears it may be too culture and experience driven, to the point where "a generous orthodoxy" becomes nothing more than "a free-for-all orthodoxy"

in other words, i'm worried we could be becoming so open minded our theological brains may fall out.


look for things from me, and if you don't care about it, i'll make sure to talk about nothing on a regular basis, too.


peace,
a

sorry it's been awhile

i've been listening to a tribe called quest (thanks nakis), and here is my "adam anderson mixtape i":

i still have to determine track listings, but 20 songs that would need to be on my sweetest album (obviously i have to include my list artists):

1. the roots - thought@work
2. ben folds - you to thank
3. sufjan stevens - holland
4. ben harper - ground on down
5. john coltrane - lush life
6. yoko kanno - piano black
7. kanye west - get 'em high (feat talib)
8. jay-z - heart of the city (unplugged - hot dang the roots in the background)
9. radiohead - pyramid song
10. coldplay - God put a smile upon your face
11. weezer - el scorcho
12. zero 7 - give it away
13. justin mcroberts - holy ground (live at gcc)
14. common - go!
15. diana krall - peel me a grape
16. john mayer - st. patrick's day
17. a tribe called quest - award tour
18. ozomatli - saturday night
19. u2 - discotheque
20. kings of convenience - sorry or please

the thing about that listing is there's plenty of artists that mean something to me that aren't there: wynton marsalis, jamiroquai, jamie cullum, jack johnson, g love, harry connick jr, and hootie and the blowfish just to name six.

i suppose that's why you can make more than one mixtape, eh?

lindsay kahl - hurry up so i can send you a mixtape! i want to tap your musical awarness and genius!


peaceandlove,
a.

in case any forgot what i look like, here i am as of today, before making dinner for friends (notice my happiness):



my hair is longer, i'm growing a beard, and i look slightly muscular

watching the game with lindsey and nick, then duty, then sleep, then church, then maybe a program, then frisbee, then who knows.


peaceandlove

...but this is way to easy...

this is from robert goulet's webpage, and makes me laugh every single time:


ROBERT GOULET IS NOT STANLEY APPLEBAUM
December 8, 1999

Many years ago, when I was in the B'Way musical "Camelot", I was occasionally allowed a leave of absence to travel to L.A. to appear on important TV show - :Lucille Ball, Bob Hope Specials, the Academy Awards etc..., and on one occasion, for reasons I cannot remember - I had to do two days of seemingly constant radio, Television and press interviews.

Earlier, that last day, I had been interviewed by a charming young man named 'Stanley Applebaum'. When at last, I was stepping into my limo to (take me away from the fray), leave - one last question was fired at me (amidst a horde of writers and photographers), asking if my real name was Robert Goulet! Exhausted, yet seemingly holding on to a tentative sense of humor - I answered - "No, it's Stanley Applebaum!" I thought it was humorous & knew that the Stanley would think so as well but suddenly the press seemed to find a seam on which to stitch a by-line. My manager, my lawyer & accountant, my P.R. man were all Jewish & not really having ever had any in-depth conversations with me, called each other to say --: "He's one of us!"

Now -- had I been born a jew, I would never had denied that fact. But, I was born into French Roman Catholic home in Lawrence, Mass., and my real name is Robert Gerard Goulet. I do have a strange sense of humor, and didn't intend to insult anyone. So please -- laugh with me.

Robert Goulet

my favorite line, hands down is "exhausted, yet seemingly holding on to a tentative sense of humor"
what is that?

anyway, dear robert, this is a dedication to you.

revised new years resolution

to give 2006 to God

all of it

everything else is too narrow

losing weight? give it to God
do better in my job? give it to God
find the love of my life? give it to God

it's time to shut up and put up

and ps katie (i'm putting this here so anyone who reads will see this):

thanks. again, i feel like i need to do the same thing
and i think your n.y.r. is one of the best


take my hand when you are worried
take my hand when you're alone
take my hand and let me guide you
take my hand to lead you home

smyth got me to buy the new derek webb album, and said he was "feisty"

if you, as a discriminating listener of music, want an artist that is going to get at the heart of the Jesus' gospel, this is great

d webb is also a lot less whiny in his timbre, which is why i didn't really like cademon's call or his early stuff

here's a lyric for you:

rich young ruler

poverty is so hard to see
when it’s only on your tv and twenty miles across town
where we’re all living so good
that we moved out of Jesus’ neighborhood
where he’s hungry and not feeling so good
from going through our trash
he says, more than just your cash and coin
i want your time, i want your voice
i want the things you just can’t give me

so what must we do
here in the west we want to follow you
we speak the language and we keep all the rules
even a few we made up
come on and follow me
but sell your house, sell your suv
sell your stocks, sell your security
and give it to the poor
what is this, hey what’s the deal
i don’t sleep around and i don’t steal
i want the things you just can’t give me

because what you do to the least of these
my brothers, you have done it to me
because i want the things you just can’t give me

i wanted to steal this from ian kane's blog... it actually is equivalent to what i've been thinking as well about 2006:



i feel like this is a breakout year. i think it's because when i was younger, i could never picture 23, and later on this year 24. it seemed so foreign. and now, indeed, i'm on those threshholds. i have a full time job. i have insurance. i pay into a 401(k) (well, 403(b), but y'know... whatever), and i can define my life on my own terms. and that is scary.

the pieces are set. it's my move, and i need to decide how to play this game

weird.

so there's a couple of songs that defined some of my relationships, and i wanted to share them

savage garden - i knew i loved you
britney spears - all i need is time
john mayer - comfortable
boyz ii men - end of the road
ben folds - landed


...that looks like a 12 year old boy on the edge of musical pubescence.

peaceandlove

here's another set of folks (no longer in any order)...

1.
yoko kanno - this is one that I'd say 95% of the folks who read this journal won't know. yoko is mostly known for her work in anime and the japan gaming industry, and more specifically cowboy bebop, which if you've never watched and would like to understand anime, it's a great start. in any case, she brings a sense of traditional jazz and a sophisticated experimental style into places where one doesn't expect them, and it creates (at least in the sense of cowboy bebop) a sense of realism that isn't prevalent in a world dominated with pokemon anime ripoffs. critical tracks: piano black (cowboy bebop ost); time to know (future blues); tank! (cowboy bebop ost)

2.
kanye west - excluding those awfully stupid remarks he made after katrina, kanye west is a new face for hip hop. i am always upset by the death culture hip-hop generates, because it's detracted from the music and how actually good it is. his last album, late registration, was produced by jon brion, who is mostly famous for his work with fiona apple, and who's all about aural overload. and while with fiona that can sometimes wear one out while listening, with kanye, it only bolsters his rapping ability, turning his voice into an instrument. and that's not to say kanye himself does not have the sensibility (alicia keys, jay-z, john legend, twista, mariah carey, talib kweli), but brion took his thought to another level. critical tracks: gone (late registration); get 'em high (feat talib kweli) (the college dropout); jay-z's lucifer (the black album); a. keys you don't know my name (diary of alicia keys)

3.
jay-z - the thing about jay-z is his entrepreneurial gifts and his ability to define what i think mainstream rap should sound like. i'm so tired of that eminem garbage that taking samples that are really nothing more than an eight year old hitting triads on a keyboard. jay-z has taken that exact garbage and reworked it, making clean and straight. what jay-z does especially well is work with multiple producers - from the stacatto vibes of pharrell williams and n.e.r.d. to kanye to dre to just blaze, it's good music. and then you throw in roc-a-fella and everything sprung successfully from that, how can you not give him some credit? critical tracks: ain't no love (mtv unplugged (w/the roots!!!)); encore (black album); i just wanna love u (the dynasty...)

4.
radiohead - i love radiohead for how they make me feel. radiohead is an experience. and when you listen through the majority of their catalogue (pablo honey, ok computer, hail to the thief), there's a progression that, while different each time, is unmistakably radiohead. i think another thing i like about the band is the lead singer thom yorke's ability to glide all sorts of directions in his voice. in songs like pyramid song that is so empty, it's hauntingly beautiful. adding that to the electronic overtones and the more-catchy-than-not songwriting ability, you do indeed have an experience. critical tracks: pyramid song (amnesiac); 2+2=5 (hail to the theif); paranoid andriod (ok computer)

i had a tough time picking between #5 of set 2 and #1 of set 3, but i picked:

5.
coldplay - the reasoning behind it for me was because i think coldplay music has been with me longer, and i have enjoyed it longer than #1 in set 3 (coming soon). coldplay is a band (much like radiohead) that plays like you discovered them. you feel like a musical genius because somehow, you stumbled upon this band that cares about the music, cares about progressive politics, and then you realize that they were in the top 20 of concert sales this year. and while sometimes i feel they might be slightly over-polished, there's an energy that comes out in their sound. there's a drive in the guitar (especially in a song like shiver) that drives the music along, and makes you feel like they're playing for you, in your own apartment, which i feel is a good indicator of a good band. if one can feel like it's music that could be played just as well in the confines of your own house, it's good music. critical tracks: shiver (parachutes); God put a smile upon your face (a rush of blood to the head); twisted logic (x&y)

i'm going to write a more in depth "end of year/beginning of year" entry when i get back to school and have a lan to operate from

but, two things to tide you over

1 - this has been a year that saw my highest highs and lowest lows i believe i've ever had. this only leaves me to believe that i am, indeed, growing up

2 - my resolution is to simplify my life in all ways


peaceandlove until later

i'm home on break, and i'll write more complicated and drawn out things later

but i just wanted to say that if you have not listening to john coltrane, you are missing out on a fabulous opportunity to envision yourself cooler than you might actually be

i'm in pajamas, and i feel like i could order a vodka tonic. and i hate tonic.

merry day after christmas. peace and love

i'm going to post something today so that katie has something to read

this semester is almost over, and the only real word to describe it is "whirlwind"
and what i think i've realized, and what is bringing me steadily closer to God is that i am such a blessed earthen vessel
...which, really, isn't different from anyone else, except that maybe i've finally made that realization

i got to talk to russ today, and he said that gcc folks are atypically arrogant... i'd say we're a pretentious bunch who feel impervious to the rest of society; haven't quite managed to be in the world but not of it (we're either in it totally, or not of it at all), but there's a few who somehow get it and stop feeling their own opinion really means much

the biggest thing i got from staff seminar is this:




i'm a gentile... i don't have a choice. i'm from german, english and dutch descent, i'm a protestant through and through, and have no authentic jewish blood in me. which means simply that had Jesus decided not to die for me - had God decided not to sacrifice His son for atonement - i'd have nothing.

i would not even have God

so for me to think i'm worth anything outside His redemption work is one of the biggest rejections of the Cross

i'm an earthen vessel, blessed beyond what i deserved

as a postscript, it's 5 degrees in erie

as i was thinking, i need to add a few more folks to this list. see, i've been wanting to create an "essential list to adam a's music library"

i have 4206 mp3s, and probably another 300 tracks in cds

so, here's are some of the critical artists for you to get my musical style. i'm going to do this in a series, explaining why i really love this artist/band, and a critical track. i'll start with the pics:

caveat: this is all "in my humble opinion"

1. the roots - underground rap, and where i think jazz should have gone, merging r&b, with hip-hop sense and jazz style. now hip-hop is largely a death culture, but the roots transcend it with music. and i mean music. critial tracks: essaywhuman?!!!! (organix mix); thought@work (phrenology)

2. ben folds - humble, and can play some of the best rock piano. he is the natural progression of billy joel/elton john piano rock raised in the 90's pissed off rock. he's every angry little white guy. he's matured as a singer/songwriter since going solo, and i think we're all better for it. i love bf5, but his new stuff means something. critical tracks: steven's last night in town (whatever and ever...); selfless cold and composed (w&e); not the same (rockin' the suburbs); you to thank (songs for silverman)

3. sufjan stevens - not so much for what he's done, but for what he's doing. his intense project where he wants to do all 50 states is amazing, and thus far, will be one of the most gorgeous sets of music ever created. while enjoy your rabbit isn't a favorite album of mine, it's interesting stuff. critical tracks: to be alone with you (seven swans); holland (...michigan...); enjoy your rabbit (enjoy your rabbit)

4. ben harper - the thing about ben harper is that there isn't much he doesn't do well. his dirty blues/bluegrass sound is polished in a way that makes you feel like you're in on something not everyone else is. it's like a treasure. he would be a delight to see in concert. critical tracks: when it's good (diamonds on the inside); diamonds on the inside (diamonds on the inside); ground on down (fight for your mind)

5. john coltraine - there isn't much to say about him, except that when i think jazz, he's one of two names that instantly come up. and unlike many other jazz musicians, he was still intelligent and thoughtful in his art when he came clean and found Jesus. a love supreme is an opus only perhaps equaled in value for jazz pre-acid (and when everything (i think) went to pot) to kind of blue. critical tracks: a love supreme; in a sentimental mood; lush life w/jonny hartman


-fin round 1-

peace and love

i'll give you a picture, see if you can guess:

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

none of them completely related, spanning different genres. it's all good stuff, and hey, if you want to talk to me about any of it, feel free

peace and love

Five weeks in a prison, I made no friends
There's more time to be done, but I've got a week to spend
I didn't pay much attention first time around
But now you're hard not to notice, right here in my town
Where the stage of my old life meets the cast of the new
Tonights actors: Me and You

Each day is taking us closer
While drawing the curtains to close
This far, or further, I need to know
Your increasingly long embraces
Are they saying sorry or please?
I don't know what's happening, help me

Through the streets, on the corners, there's a scent in the air
I ask you out and I lead you, I know my way around here
There's a bench I remember, and on the way there I find
That the movements you're making, are mirrored in mine
And your hand is held open, intentionally
Or just what I want to see?

Your increasingly long embraces
Are they saying sorry or please?
I don't know what's happening, help me
I don't normally beg for assistance
I rely on my own eyes to see
But right now they make no sense to me
Right now you make no sense to me